NFL SEASON PREVIEW - by Suman V

Last season had a terrible ending. I was convinced when the playoffs began that the Steelers would lose at some point because of their suspect offensive line. Of course they didn’t. Of course they somehow won a fucking Super Bowl without having a great O-line. Of course they had to win in the manner they did too (game winning 2 minute drive to one of my favorite Ohio State players). In my face.

It was a great game to symbolize the new NFL where dynasties do not exist, and things change easily from year to year. The Arizona Cardinals, whom NOBODY had to be in the Super Bowl before the year began against a team that either had one of the best defenses of all-time or was extremely overrated and got lucky. Nobody knows anything.

Forecasting the NFL season is an exercise in futility because of all the unknowns. Tom Brady going down in week 1 last year changed everything. DeAngelo Williams somehow morphed from “ok” to maybe the most explosive back in the league. Going into this season who knows how Mike Vick will gel with the Eagles. If Albert Haynesworth will still try after striking it rich or how Matt Cassell will perform in K.C. Or even if the Steelers can repeat what they did last year with basically the same exact team.

But the internet was created for 2 reasons: porn and for losers like me to get this shit down in writing so that I can say “I told you so” 5 months from now. Or for my friends to remind me how much of an idiot I was before the season began.…so here goes nothing. Division-by-division previews with projected records, and how I think the playoffs turn out at the end.

AFC

East:

Patriots (12-4)

Their schedule looks tougher than usual because every team in the division is legit, and capable of an upset. I don’t know if Brady is 100% but about 75% of him is better than most QB’s. I have questions about their secondary (when you pick up Leigh Bodden after he was cut by the Lions and he starts for you…well something has to give). That season ender at Houston against the Texans will be huge. Losing so much veteran leadership might be insurmountable. But fuck it: in Brady and Belichek I trust.

Dolphins (6-10)

I’ve seen this script before…struggling team lands stud offensive lineman in the draft à Team becomes surprise team of the league àTeam receives lofty expectations the following year à Team urinates on itself. Ladies and gentleman the 2009 Cleveland Browns!! You know what I mean. I don’t know who officially has the toughest schedule in the league, but opening with Atlanta, Indy, San Diego, and closing with Houston and Pittsburgh make the Dolphins a good candidate for that distinction. A questionable receiving core doesn’t help. Plus, I don’t see Chad Pennington, Ronnie Brown, and Ricky Williams all staying healthy for a whole year.



Bills (5-11)

I really liked this team last year, but they were just never able to get over that hump. Not enough firepower on offense. Terrell Owens fixes that. Ralph Wilson wanted another winner at the twilight of his life at any expense, and I think he may have one finally. Lee Evans is poised to have a huge year now that he won’t be the focus of the other team’s defense. I like that defense led by Marcus Stroud, and if that young offensive line can somehow gel in time I see these guys as a playoff team. However that line hasn’t gelled to date. And apparently Dick Jauron is an idiot who doesn’t like complicated offenses. No offensive coordinator…no offense line = struggles.

Jets (4-12)

I really like Rex Ryan, and the swag he’s bringing to that Jets team. But with a new QB, new coach, new defense, etc…it's going to take time. I think Sanchez will be special in time, but I don’t see lightning getting caught in that bottle again as with the Ravens and Falcons last year. Another brutal early schedule. Unless Sanchez pulls a Matt Ryan this team can easily be 0-6 out of the gate.

North:

Steelers (12-4)

I fucking hate them. I fucking hate them. I fucking hate them. I wonder if in my lifetime there will be even one year where they go 2-14 and suck. I want to say they’ll have a Super Bowl hangover, but they bring everyone relevant back. Limas Sweed may end up being an upgrade over Nate Washington. And they get Rashard Mendenhall back from injury. They did lose some pieces on D, but lets be honest they are going to be there in the end. I saw Ziggy Hood play one play last week and realized he is a good one. FML.

Bengals (9-7)

I originally had these guys as a sleeper pick. But then everyone started dick riding. Now everyone loves them because of Hard Knocks. I admit, it's impossible to hate them now. Esteban Ochocinco is hilarious. But there are huge question marks such as Carson Palmer’s health, that offensive line (sorry Bungle fans its already too late for Andre Smith and his tig ol bitties to be a huge factor this season), and the secondary. However this is Marvin Lewis’ last chance. I say his guys pull through for him and have a good season. That linebacking corps is going to be sick with those USC guys. And Chris Henry looks like he’s ready for a re-breakout season. Glad the Browns passed on Maualuga too. Once again, FML.

Ravens (9-7)

I don’t know what it is, but something just seems a little off to me about these guys. It may just be that they couldn’t beat the Steelers last year in 3 tries. I don’t know, but it shouldn’t be that way because Flacco seems legit, and if Ray Rice pans out they will have an improved offense. You know the defense is going to be good. Ray Lewis should send Haloti Ngata (another guy the Browns gift-wrapped to a rival in the draft) a fruit basket for extending his career by a few years. But I’ll say Flacco has a few things go wrong this year and they regress a few steps.



Browns (4-12)

These guys don’t even deserve a paragraph. The only bright spot when looking at their schedule is that they end the season with 3 winnable games. Hopefully that will give us some momentum heading into year 2 of the Mangini era which I think will actually be a turning point in the history of this franchise. My guess is that BQ wins that QB spot, and that the Browns end up with Taylor Mays or Eric Berry in next years draft.

West:

Chargers (13-3)

I’m pretty high on the Chargers for the 3rd or 4th straight year. Phillip Rivers has entered that upper tier of QB’s. They are as healthy as they’ve been in a while. I don’t think LDT has another one of those 25+ TD’s 1500 yard seasons in him just because he is old in running back terms, but I think he has something to prove to all the people that said he fell off last year. And now they have a proven Darren Sproles. They have a relatively soft schedule too because their division sucks. Don’t forget this was a pretty good offense last year, so that should continue. If their defense shows up, watch out. Tila Tequila deserved it.

Raiders (6-10)

This team is just a mess, but I just feel like they have too much talent not to steal a few wins, regardless of who their coach and GM are. Still have a nice 3 headed monster at RB. Jamarcus seems to have improved. Interesting to see how that defense plays without Rob Ryan and if Richard Seymour ever shows up. If he does, and is motivated, outside playoff team you heard it hear first.

Chiefs (3-13)

A lot of people seem to be high on these guys, but I’m not. Scott Pioli has a plan and he is sticking to it, but I just don’t like the moves their making so far. I didn’t like them reaching for Tyson Jackson at #3 in the draft. You can’t be sold on Matt Cassell because he has started like 15 games since high school. I’ve been reading a lot about how D-Bowe has been struggling in camp and not putting in a lot of work. And he is pretty much their only playmaker.

Broncos (2-14)

Absolutely horrific schedule. I mean now that Brandon Marshall is suspended for the first 2 games, those Cincy and Cleveland games look much tougher. They they go to Oakland, and after that they don’t really have a “winnable” game until they play KC later in the year like week 10. Forget about this team. Would’ve been fun if they kept Cutler, had a happy Marshall, and added Moreno. Kyle Orton??? Uhhh no. Josh McDaniels seems in over his head so far. I guess adding Sam Bradford or Colt McCoy next year is a bright spot.



South:

Texans (11-5)

Matt Schaub. This team is only going to go as far as he takes them. And that depends on if he can last a whole season. Huge “if,” but assuming he does I think they finally break through this season to get a playoff birth. A top 5 defense end, a top 5 linebacker, a top 10 running back, and a top 5 receiver. Everything is in place they just have to deliver.

Colts (10-6)

I think they’ll have a tough go of it early in the year while they adjust to life with Dungy. They also have a stretch in the middle of the year where they play Houston, New England, and then travel to Baltimore and Houston, and finish off with Tennessee at home. Just brutal. But they finish off with 4 “easy” games and I think Peyton Manning will somehow carry them down the stretch to win another playoff birth just like last year.

Titans (10-6)

I see this team regressing a little bit. Some of that has to do with them not meeting expectations last year and then losing their MVP Albert Haynesworth. But most of it has to do with them being in maybe the toughest division in football. No cupcakes here. Plus Kerry Collins is like 48 now. As Peter King said in his last column, why not let Vince Young line up in a wildcat formation 5-10 snaps a game? It’s a way to utilize his talents most effectively while still keeping Collins as your QB1.

Jaguars (8-8)

I really really like this team and with a few bounces going their way I feel they can win 10-12 games. This division is just too tough, and with some of their question marks I decided to put them lower than the others. The biggest question is at WR…Torry Holt is supposed to be the answer, but he’s given up too much of himself over the years. There is no way he has anything left. I think MJD can have an MVP type year, but I don’t know if that’s enough to carry them towards the playoffs.

NFC

East:

Eagles (11-5)

The offense is where they spent most of their time and energy in the offseason. But I feel like the defense is what’s going to keep them afloat when it matters. And I have a feeling the regular season will go smoothly for them, but they’ll falter in the postseason. Oh yea, I really think Brian Westbrook breaks down this year. There is a reason they drafted Shady McCoy so high. Its going to be weird not seeing Brian Dawkins patrolling back there anymore too.

Redskins (10-6)

This is the year. They finally take that leap into the playoffs and do shit. As long as Haynesworth still cares even after he got paid, I think that defense will be sick. LaRon Landry is patrolling center field with some experience now. And the addition of Haynesworth will allow Phil Daniels, Andre Carter, Orakpo, and Rocky McIntosh to wreak havoc. I’m also a believer in their 2nd year receivers…Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas. Don’t forget this team was like 8-1 or something last year before falling apart. And they got better this offseason. Jason Campbell has all the toys, now he just has to deliver.


Giants (10-6)

I don’t think people realize how good this team has been the last 2 years. They were rolling last season too until Cheddar Bomb ruined the season. They really beefed up and already good defense and they get Usi back. I also think Kenny Philips makes the leap this year to almost pro bowl level. He is that sick IMO. Also, Andre Brown = breakout star you heard it here first.

Cowboys (5-11)

Some people are saying addition by subtraction with regards to T.O. But I don’t know I think this team is farther away than people want to believe. Their o-line is getting old and decrepit, their WR Corps is weak sauce, and I’m not a believer in Wade Phillips. But Barber, Felix Jones (if healthy), and Tashard Choice will be special this year if that line does its job. But here’s betting they won’t

North:

Packers (12-4)

This team will be another interesting case study on whether what goes on in the preseason has any relevance to real life. They just looked sick all preseason. I got to witness them tear the Browns up. Nothing needs to be said about their offense because they did it last year. Their defense is another story. So many unknowns, but I say B.J. Raji helps them turn it around this year, and they dominate this division.

Vikings (9-7)

I think A-Pete takes another leap and enters Jim Brown/Walter Payton/Barry Sanders territory. But I also think Brett Favre falters and doesn’t make it through the year. The defense looks impregnable, but this team just looks too good on paper…and here’s guessing that Favre fucks that up somehow.

Bears (6-10)

Everyone’s jizzing over this team, and rightfully so with the addition of one of the best arms in the league. But I just see too many holes at key spots for them to make a serious run. Tommie Harris isn’t what he was because of injuries. Orlando Pace was getting run by busters in the preseason and isn’t what he was because of injuries. And Brian Urlacher is getting up their in years and has seen his production drop in recent years. I also don’t believe Devin Hester can make that leap to be a true #1 WR. Sorry to the owner of this blog (even though I probably just did you a favor by reverse-jinxing).

Lions (3-13)

I don’t like the decision to start Stafford from day 1. Even though watching the ball come off this kids hands is almost breathtaking, and even though in time I think Stafford to Megatron will be special….right now this team is horrible and sticking him out there in that division behind this offensive line is asking for trouble. What happened to the plan of feeding Daunte to the lions (hehehe) and letting Stafford ease his way into this? Really tough schedule up until the bye week, so that first win might have to wait awhile…but 3 is better than nothing.

West:

Seahawks (8-8)

This was going to be my comeback team of the year but with 2 of their key offensive lineman out with significant injuries I just can’t do it. I really love Hassel to come back strong. TJ Houshmanzadeh will shore up that WR corps…and watch out for John Carlson and Deon Butler to break through this year. Also Aaron Curry and Lofa will be a sick combo. But I just can’t do it. A tough schedule. Almost no running game. And an injured offensive line. Sorry guys.

Cardinals (7-9)

Have to be scared of them falling into a sophomore slump. I don’t know if Kurt Warner can maintain at 54 years of age. But Beanie Wells is my darkhorse for ROY (if you can make a first round pick a darkhorse). Did you see that preseason game??? If he can somehow stay healthy (HUGE IF) he’ll get the opportunity because Tim Hightower and his 2.8 ypc ain’t doing shit. But I just don’t think Fitz can carry them for a whole year the way he did at the end of last season. Plus really tough first 10 weeks.

49ers (5-11)

Still don’t think they have enough firepower to do any damage. I really like that Mike Singeltary has given this team an identity, but they will sorely miss what Mike Crabtree could’ve given them. I think they’ll be in almost every game they play, but I don’t see them pulling out too many wins.

Rams (4-12)

See: 49ers. I just don’t see them with enough firepower to win. And no way Bulger makes it through the season…if he does get injured then they got Kyle Boller backing things up. Not good. I like what they are doing with their defense adding good, young defenders like Chris Long and James Lauranaitus. But not enough offensive power.

South:

Falcons (11-5)

I absolutely love how this team was put together. With Matt Ryan getting comparisons to Peyton you know he’s legit. Michael Turner is poised to have another big year, and he’s got the dangerous Jerious Norwood (contract year) backing him up. Plus the addition of Tony Gonzalez should let Roddy White continue his domination. Most underrated player in the game? That defense is amazing too. Everyone is 27 or younger and they are stacked with SEC/southern talent…always a key to success.

Panthers (10-6)

Got to feel bad for Jake Delhomme after the way last year ended. If Dwayne Jarrett can emerge as a viable option this team has super bowl aspirations. But I don’t see him doing that. It also seems like they’ve had the same roster for like 5 years. But as they proved last season they aren’t a fluke team. They got major talent. But I see another pre-Super Bowl playoff exit.

Saints (9-7)

Drew Brees is entering Marino territory. That offense is going to be nasty. The only question is if they are going to be a real contender is if that defense will show up. This is year 2 for Sedrick Ellis so that should be huge. If he turns that defense around they could easily win this division. Very easy first part of the schedule.

Buccaneers (5-11)

Monte Kiffin is gone. Jon Gruden is gone. Their offensive coordinator just got fired. New head coach. While they definitely have pieces in place, I just feel they have too much going on to be a good, stable team. Plus they got Kellen Winslow now who has been touched by the Cleveland Curse. Game over for the Bucs.

AFC Playoffs

1. Chargers

2. Steelers

3. Patriots

4. Texans

5. Colts

6. Titans

1st round: Pats over Titans, Colts over Texans

2nd round: Steelers over Colts, Chargers over Pats

AFC Championship: Steelers over Chargers

NFC Playoffs

1. Packers

2. Eagles

3. Falcons

4. Seahawks

5. Redskins

6. Panthers

1st round: Falcons over Panthers, Redskins over Seahawks

2nd round: Packers over Redskins, Falcons over Eagles

NFC Championship: Falcons over Packers

Super Bowl: Steelers over Falcons

Regular Season MVP: Peyton Manning

Offensive Player of the Year: Peyton Manning

Defensive Player of the Year: Mario Williams

Rookie of the Year: Chris “Beanie” Wells

Comeback Player of the Year: Matt Hasselbeck

Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin