NBA POWER RANKINGS - by RP

DSS Readers,

Sorry for the one week hiatus. I was lazy. I have no excuses.

I started this week's rankings with hopes of featuring the guys I hated most on NBA rosters. But it turns out I don't actually hate too many guys. Instead you can consider this to be the least liked players on each team.

Props to the Celts. They continue to destroy!

Enjoy,

RP....

1. Boston Celtics (23-2) – Kendrick Perkins – The Hunchback of Notre Dame. League leader in Techs.
2. Los Angeles Lakers (20-3) – Pau Gasol – Maybe it’s his dirty beard. I don’t know.
3. Orlando Magic (19-6) – Anthony Johnson – Nothing about him excites me.
4. Cleveland Cavaliers (20-4) – Wally Szczerbiak – Our assumptions are confirmed...

5. San Antonio Spurs (15-8) – Bruce Bowen – Dirtiest player in the league
6. Denver Nuggets (17-7) – Chucky Atkins – No good reason. Just don’t like him. Maybe because he sucks.
7. Atlanta Hawks (15-9) – Zaza Pachulia – Doesn’t look very trustworthy.
8. New Orleans Hornets (13-7) – James Posey – He might be Cleveland but I still can’t stand dude. Especially that damn multi-color mouthpiece.
9. Houston Rockets (15-9) – Steve Francis – Didn’t he used to be the The Franchise in Houston? Now most people have forgotten he’s on the roster.
10. Mavericks (13-10) – Dirk Nowitzki – Softest dude in the league.
11. Utah Jazz (15-11) – Jarron Collins – I never liked those twins.
12. Portland Trailblazers (15-10) – Shavlik Randolph – Dukies aren’t cool in my book.
13. Detroit Pistons (13-9) – Amir Johnson – Since my boy Vishal jocks him so much, even though his stat line reads like this… DNP-CD.
14. Phoenix Suns (15-10) – Shaquille O’Neal – Washed up and annoying. Hang ‘em up. It’s over.
15. Chicago Bulls (11-12) – Joakim Noah – The founder of DSS is a devout fan of Joakim…

16. New Jersey Nets (12-11) – Josh Boone – Albinos with braids don’t look cool.
17. New York Knicks (11-13) – Chris Duhon – Dukie and sucks.
18. Miami Heat (12-12) – Mark Blount – What a waste?
19. Indiana Pacers (8-16) – Troy Murphy – Just seems like a douche Frat Boy.
20. Milwaukee Bucks (11-15) – Richard Jefferson – The main reason I even wanted to make this post. Words cannot describe how much I loathe this guy.

We can’t wait to see you either RJ.

21. Memphis Grizzlies (9-15) – Greg Bucker – Has he ever done anything impressive?
22. Toronto Raptors (10-14) – Andrea Bargnani – 7’ 0” three point shooter with a girl’s name.
23. Philadelphia 76ers (10-14) – Sam Dalembert – Haitian-Canadian? His people are dangerous.
24. Golden State Warriors (10-14) – Corey Maggette – How can you like a guy who is already on the trading block after signing a long-term deal during the summer?
25. Charlotte Bobcats (7-18) – Boris Diaw – French and Fat.
26. Sacramento Kings (7-18) – Spencer Hawes – Let’s just say I was disappointed when I found out he was white.
27. Minnesota Timberwolves (4-20) – Jason Collins – Only fair if I included his brother.
28. Los Angeles Clippers (6-17) – Chris Kaman – The love-child of Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker.
29. Washington Wizards (4-18) – Etan Thomas – His whole “Educated African-American Poet” thing annoys me.
30. Oklahoma City Thunder (2-23) – Robert Swift – Creepy.

NBA Player of the Week:

Rajon Rondo – This is more like an MIP award. This guy is the main reason the Celts are even better than last year. Plus his near triple-double last night didn’t hurt.